Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Reflecting with my Evil Reflection

Billy: Vituperative. Soporific. Salubrious. Abstemious. Desultory. Specious. Equanimity.

Evil Reflection: Excuse me.

Billy: Inchoate. Innocuous. Opprobium. Tractable--

Evil Reflection: Excuse me!!

Billy: Oh. Hello, Evil Reflection.

ER: Um, Billy... What are you doing?

Billy: I'm studying for my GRE exam. I sit for the exam tomorrow. Didn't I tell you about that already?

ER: I think not. But, if it's all the same to you, please go in the other room to practice. Your voice is rather annoying.

Billy: Uh... Excuse me?

ER: You heard me. I don't mumble, unlike you, you dithering idiot. Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?

Billy: What? You? Sleep? Evil Reflection, you are my reflection, for God's sake. You don't need sleep. That's crazy.

ER: Crazy? You're the one talking to his reflection.

Billy: Oh that's clever.

ER: Yes, and close the door on your way out so I don't hear you sqawking to yourself in the other roo--Hey! What are you doing??

Billy: There's a smudge on the mirror. I need to clean it off.

ER: Blech! You know I hate the taste of Windex!

Billy: You'll live. By the way, could you help me with a certain math problem. Quadratic equation again. They make me cower in terror.

ER: You always were pathetic and obtuse. Why are you taking the GRE, anyway?

Billy: Because I want to get into the UT School of Information. Because I have aspirations. Because I want another reason not to be here listening to your inane ramblings. Are you going to help me with the math problem or not?

ER: Of course not, you bloody bafoon. You won't do well on your exam. Your aspirations are nothing but shrivelled prunes, and you will not get accepted into UT. Give up, already.

Billy: Fine...forget it. I'll continue studying my vocab. Mendacious. Perfidious. Nefarious. Insiduous.


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